You don`t just have Confidence. You gain Confidence by developing your Competencies. And as your Confidence grows, you`re going to be more bold in your development of your Compentence, which then nurtures your Confidence.
And all you need to get started is the Belief in your ability to figure it out.
When I started following my Dream, sharing my Message and learning Online-Marketing, I had absolutely no clue what I was doing.
I had no clue what a Funnel is. Or how to use Social Media. How to coach someone. How to do Video or sell Products, or almost anything.
But I always believed that I would figure it out. That I would be able to learn and grow.
That`s the key. You don`t need to have Confidence. But you need that foundational Belief in your ability to figure it out.
And then allow yourself to start small. Allow yourself to suck at something.
My first Videos were horrible. My first Product didn`t sell at all (like literally, 0 Sales). But those where first Steps in the right Direction.
Now, to increase your Competence there are two very critical Steps:
Step #1: Get a Roadmap
You can quickly develop Competence by picking someone else`s brain.
If you want to get going faster, consult someone who`s mastered what you want to do.
As I started my Dream, I quickly realized that I needed to learn so much more about what it means to be a Thought Leader and how this Thing called Online-Marketing works.
So I invested over 2.000 bucks into the best Course (in my opinion) on how to be an Influencer. It taught me Social Media, Business and Online-Marketing.
I gained Clarity. And as you gain Clarity on the road ahead of you, you have more Confidence in your ability to make this come true.
The road isn`t so unclear anymore. You now know what to do. And how to get started. And what it takes to do something well.
And if presented with the choice of trying to figure it all out completely by yourself and spend years in doubt and confusion, or pick someone`s brain and accelerate with a clear Roadmap, the choice seems to be obvious.
Now, it`s very important to note that we shouldn`t just learn from anybody. In Online-Marketing for Example, there are a ton of People who are selling the “Get-rich-quick”-Thing. While that might seem appealing, it`s also a ton of crap.
Not every Mentor is worth to be listened to. When I`m choosing a Mentor I`m very careful observing what their own Beliefs are. Because I don`t want to learn Marketing or Personal Development, or anything, from someone who`s trying to get as much as possible with as little work as possible.
That´s not what I stand for. You need to know what you stand for. And then choose Mentors who share that foundational Belief and who do anything with Excellence.
Step #2: Develop your Skills
Skill-Development is absolutely critical to developing Confidence.
Remember my Story, when I was completely shy and insecure? I had to develop my Communication-Skills to overcome that. It wasn`t that I was shy because of my Genes or because I was meant to be this way.
It was a lack of Skills. And the lack of Skills led to me closing down even more. But as I developed my own Skills, I developed the Confidence to powerfully communicate and my appearance, approach and attitude completely changed.
You got to allow yourself to get out there, try, learn, improve and test to improve your Skills and therefore your Confidence in going beyond your Doubts.
And as you get better at it, you develop the Confidence. And at some Point it will start to feel natural to you. It becomes you. And when, whatever you`re trying to achieve, is part of who you are, that`s when the magic starts to happen.
As Michael Beckwith says: “Don’t look for your dreams to become true; look to become true to your dreams.”
#2: Deconstruct the Fear
“The fears you run away from run toward you. The fears you don’t own will own you. But behind every fear wall lives a precious treasure.” — Robin Sharma
In an Interview with Jay Shetty, Kobe Bryant revealed a very interesting Practice: deconstructing Fear.
And this Practice is incredibly powerful, because what you think you`re afraid of isn`t really what you truly fear. Those are just the Symptoms.
What we need to do is get to the root of that Fear and Doubt. Why are you doubting yourself? Why are you afraid of doing … (insert thing you want to do)?
And as you continue to get deeper and deeper, towards the root of the Doubt and Fear, it quickly loses it`s Power over you. Because as you gain Awareness about what´s truly holding you back, you can now consciously choose to move towards it.
How to deconstruct Fears and Doubts:
Follow this simple Excercise (introduced to me by Dean Graziosi): go 7-Levels Deep.
Take whatever scares you right now and ask why that is scaring you. Your answer then is the baseline for the next Why-Question.
Why #1: Why are you afraid of Public Speaking? Because I`m afraid of looking stupid or saying somtheing dumb.
Why #2: Why are you afraid of looking stupid or saying something dumb?…
And you`re simply going to ask the Why seven times. As you reach the seventh Why, you`ll discover what´s truly holding you back.
Dean uses this to help People to connect with their true Why (your inner Motivation). But it also is as powerful in taking away the Power of your Fears. You can either do this by yourself or have someone you trust ask you these Why-Questions. I personally am doing it in my Journal, where I`m just writing down whatever comes to mind when I ask these questions.
#3: Connect with your Future
“We cannot create a new future, by holding on to the emotions of the past.” — Dr. Joe Dispenza
The easiest way to overcome your own Fears and Doubts is to envision a better Version of yourself and then strive violently to make it come true. When you`re driven by a Vision of a better Future, you`re no longer holding onto the Fears and Doubts which are keeping you in the Past.
Declare your best Self
Whatever you´re trying to achieve, paint a Vision of your best Life. When you know what you´re striving towards, what kind of Life you want to live and what kind of Impact you want to make, you`ll be easily motivated to move beyond your Fears, Insecurities and Doubts.
Because you`re driven by a bigger Purpose. It´s no longer about you. You`re being defined by that Vision of the Future. That`s your North Star. That`s your Compass.
And here´s what I want you to do: make it as vivid as you possibly can. And then declare that this is what you`re going to do. That you`re pulling this of. You don`t need anyone´s permission. Simply choose to pursue this Vision of your Future and dare to dream bigger than you ever allowed yourself to dream.
Know your Why
And then, let`s deeply connect you with your Why. And we`re going to do the same as in #2 (remember, 7 Levels Deep), but now for your Desire to reach your Vision.
The Question now is: why do you want to achieve this Vision of yourself?
And again, go seven Levels Deep to find your true Why. Because the one that seems to come natural probably isn`t the one that truly drives your Behavior. And again, as you gain Awareness on your true Why, you`ll be way more driven to make that Vision a Reality.
#4: Create your Success-List
“To be empowered — to be free, to be unlimited, to be creative, to be genius, to be divine — that is who you are…. Once you feel this way, memorize this feeling; remember this feeling. This is who you really are….” — Dr. Joe Dispenza
When you`re constantly doubting yourself, beating yourself and thinking “Who am I to do X?”, chances are that you simply haven`t celebrated your own Successes.
You`re not giving yourself enough Credit. Because we`ve all had Challenges and difficult Situations in our Lives, which we mastered. We all had to overcome Obstacles in our Life.
You`ve shown Courage in the Past. You moved beyond what you believed to be possible in the Past. You did something that was way out of reach. But if you`re still feeling like you`re not enough, you haven`t acknowledged your wins.
So often, we integrate where we`re screwing up. Where we said something wrong or did something stupid. For many, that is engraved in our longterm Memory. We can remember how it feels and quickly relive that experience.
But here`s the question: can you remember your wins? How did they feel? What did you achieve?
And how did you take those painful Memories and did something magical with it?
I, for Example, overcame everything I dealt with in my Teenage-Years. I reinvented myself. I`m super proud of being able to get out of that and, here`s the important Part: it gives me Power. I am fueled by this Belief in my Ability to figure anything out. Because I was capable of pulling this of.
My wins give me Strength and Power. And if you`re not feeling powerful, chances are you haven`t celebrated, felt and integrated your Wins.
So please do so now. Simply take out a piece of Paper and write down every single Win in your Life. Every time you overcame an Obstacle. Every time you did something extraordinary. Every time you overcame yourself. You name it.
Write it all down (and trust me, you´re going to find plenty. It might not be so obvious, because we`re trained to be different, but it´s there!). The next Step then is in reliving that Experience and feeling those Emotions.
Just take a moment, close your eyes and feel gratitude for whatever it is you accomplished. Feel how powerful you truly are. How difficult it seemed back then, but you still were able to excel in that Moment.
Doing this fuels your Belief in your ability to figure anything out. I highly recommend doing this every Week. Maybe do a Sunday-Review, where you´re allowing yourself to feel what you achieved in that week (no matter how big or small). Celebrate your wins, record your Lessons and release Judgement.
#5: Craft your Success-Environment
“Don’t join an easy crowd; you won’t grow. Go where the expectations and the demands to perform are high.” — Jim Rohn
I bet you heard that the average of the five people you surround yourself with shapes who you become, right?
This is absolutely true. And even more deeply. Because it`s not just five people, but also your secondary (the friends of your friends) and tertiary (the friends of your friend`s friends) connections that shape how you see yourself, others and the World.
And it´s basically anything we let into our World that shapes our Beliefs. Of course we can always choose to reject Things and Beliefs in our Environment, but that takes Awareness to what we let inside.
Therefore, if we want to achieve our wildest Dreams (and go beyond them), we need to surround ourselves in an A-Level Environment.
Step #1: Media-Diet
I highly recommend anyone to go on a Media-Diet. Because, as everything we let into our World has the Power to alter our Beliefs, we need to be cautious of what we let in.
And if we`re constantly consuming the negative News, no wonder that so many people have a negative World-View. Because as a Message is repeated over and over again, it becomes engraved in our Brain.
Therefore I highly recommend limiting your Media-Exposure:
- Limit how often you use your Phone during the day!
- Limit your exposure to the News (ideally once per week — nothing is so urgent that you need to check the News multiple times per day, and if it is, trust me, your friends are going to tell you)!
- Unfollow People on Social Media which make you feel bad or unworthy (or any other negative Emotion)!
- Turn off Push-Notifications entirely (just watch what that will do for your Productivity, and your Well-Being)
Step #2: Success-Environment
Now let`s turn to creating our Success-Environment.
This is pretty straightforward: surround yourself with People that motivate, inspire and teach you how to live your grandest life. People with big Ambitions, who`re lifting you up.
- Find Mentors (both virtually and in-person)!
- Craft an inspiring Environment on Social Media. Social Media can be extremely powerful, if you surround yourself with the right People. Probably the easiest Thing to do right now!
- Spend more time with the People who lift you up!
- Anything that makes you feel like you`re living your grandest Life!
#6: Generate Momentum
“Success comes from taking the initiative and following up…persisting…eloquently expressing the depth of your love. What simple action could you take today to produce a new momentum toward success in your life?” — Tony Robbins
When in Doubt, choose to march forward to what you believe to be right and generate Momentum. Learning and Research is important. But at some Point, we all need to start.
Start today and march forward. Get some Progress. Learn. Improve. Test. Build Momentum and then keep it going. Almost nothing is as important as Momentum in Life. Whether we`re talking about Life or Business, Momentum is absolutely critical.
Because when you´re consistently moving in the direction of your Dream, outer Forces conspire to support you on that Path. Nothing keeps us more stuck than Stagnation.
And I bet you remember one of those moments where you got really excited about something and then the decision-making-process took forever and that excitement was completely gone right?
The universe hates Indecision and Stagnation. Keep moving forward based on what you know!
Move towards the Fear
“Are you paralyzed with fear? That’s a good sign. Fear is good. Like self-doubt, fear is an indicator. Fear tells us what we have to do. Remember one rule of thumb: the more scared we are of a work or calling, the more sure we can be that we have to do it.” — Steven Pressfield in “The War of Art”
But what can we do when we`re in a really specific Situation we´re giving a Speech or something that really frightens us?
The easiest thing hands-down: move. Get your Body in Movement!
Because then you`re releasing all kinds of Feel-Good-Chemicals in your Body and you`re moving out of your Head into your Body.
One of the most fun ways: dance — pick your favorite Song and then move like crazy. You`ll notice that you`ll have changed your entire Psychology and Physiology afterwards!
You`ll feel that Pop and Excitement again and you´re ready to roll!
#7: Dare the Impossible
“The reasonable man adapts himself to the world: the unreasonable one persists in trying to adapt the world to himself. Therefore all progress depends on the unreasonable man.” — George Bernard Shaw
Refuse to acccept the life you were given. Dare to do the Impossible. And if you do one thing today, do this: question your own Limitations!
Because the only Limit we`ll ever have is the one we set for ourselves.
We´re so much more powerful than we probably will ever realize. We`re capable of doing so much more, but if we never question our own Limitations, we`ll be defined by them.
Do not let Doubt stop you. Confidence only grows after you start. You need to learn and get experience in order to grow your Competence, which will then develop your Confidence, which then in turn makes you take even bolder and bolder Actions, which then grows your Results.
But it all starts with one decision to move beyond the Doubt.
We all have started somewhere. But when you´re being defined by a better Vision of the Future, it´s your Responsibility to jump into the Unknow and dare the Impossible.
And remember: you`re so much more powerful than you believe. Just trust in your ability to make this come true. But it all depends on you moving forward in the right Direction!
I deeply believe that you can make anything come true in your life!
What´s one thing you`re going to do today moving you closer to your desired Future?