What are the things you know you should be doing, which would elevate your Life to a whole other Level?
Paint a mental picture right now. What if…
… you would be doing everything you know you should be doing anyways? How would your Life change?
I bet it would shift dramatically. At least, that`s what happened to me.
Until 5 years ago, I was completely stuck. I was trapped in negative self-talk, having no self-esteem, tumbling downwards. On top of that, I was so incredibly shy. I couldn`t talk in front of 3 people. I didn`t speak up for me. At all.
It was hell. And I was living in that hell for 8 years. Until one day in 2015, at 21 years old, I decided enough is enough. I needed to be different. But I had no clue how.
How do we change our own perception? And how do we do the things we know we should be doing?
I went on this quest to figure out how I actually could reinvent myself. In retrospective, it is totally obvious to me that when we aren`t doing the things we know we should be doing, our self-esteem suffers.
Step-by-step we loose Respect for ourselves. We loose trust in ourselves. We lower our own Value. Our own Standards. And diminish our true Potential.
Back then however, I had no clue. How do I reinvent myself? How can I change my own beliefs about myself? How can I take command of my own destiny and finally right the ship?
That was all I wanted. I wanted confidence. And openness. And I just wanted to regain my own Life.
Over time, I got much more than I ever anticipated. Than I ever even dreamed about. And here`s how!
Pretty quickly, we can all reinvent ourselves. All it takes is one new habit or behavior that is completely opposite to who we are right now. Something that completely scares us. That frightens us. Something, we`re almost completely certain we will never be able to pull off.
From the Science of Neuroplasticity we know that we can always build a better brain. It´s not fixed, but maleable. In order to do so, we need to strengthen different neural pathways. It`s as simple as that.
Unfortunately, not easy. Because everything that you`ve been doing until this moment has wired your brain in a certain way. It has strengthened those neural pathways that you`ve been using so regularly, they became your way of being.
But here`s the good news: Research from the University College London has shown that it takes approx. 66 days to form a new habit. To reach a point of Automaticity. Where the new habit is easier to perform than not to.
All it takes is approximately 66 days to rewire your brain. Even though you might have been practicing a certain kind of behavior for 10 to 20 years (or longer).
Pretty remarkable, right?
“All change is hard at first, messy in the middle, and so gorgeous at the end.” — Robin Sharma.
And here´s the deal: our brain is designed to help us get rid of those neural pathways, those ways of being, that no longer serve us.
Because our brain is designed to save as much energy as possible.
And here`s how we can trick our brain to do the right things: do the uncomfortable long enough, so it becomes a habit. Once you reach the point of Automacticity, it is easier to do the right things than not to do them.
It becomes your new normal.
So, now, I want to cover the 9 things you need to know in order to actually pull that off!
“When you want to succeed as bad as you want to breathe, that´s when you`ll succeed!” — Eric Thomas, Motivational Speaker
Imagine that you were to die six months from now. Would you continue doing the things you´re doing today?
If the answer is “NO”, you know you need to change. If you`re still playing small at this stage of your Life, you know it`s time to change.
And not when the times is right. It will never be right. Right now!
Because Life is short. It is over just like that. Even if you`re trying to live until a 180 years old, life is short. And you`ll never know how much time you get.
Does that sound harsh?
No. It`s the truth. And it`s the most freeing feeling in the world. Because now that you have urgency, you can start moving towards the future you want to create. No excuses. If you don`t change now, when will you?
Often enough, we`re not doing the things we know we need to do for ourselves.
But we do them for others. So who´s counting on you to show up on your A-Game every day?
I don`t care who it is. And it can be different people on different days. But if you got someone to fight for, you`re just so much more willing to go that one step further.
And then remind yourself of whom you`re fighting for.
Maybe it´s because you want to role-model a better future for your kids. Or you want a better life for your spouse. Or you have that charity which is counting on your contribution. Your customers, needing your best-in-the-world-product.
I don`t care who it is. But you need someone to serve. Someone counting on you. You need to have urgency!
“The sure sign of an amateur is he has a million plans and they all start tomorrow.” — Steven Pressfield in “Turning Pro”
You just need one. One plan. One habit. But starting today, you`re going to execute. Daily. Like a clockwork. That´s the sure sign of a Pro.
There are a million excuses. A million reasons why we shouldn`t do what we need to do.
Steven Pressfield said it better than I ever could:
“On the field of the Self stand a knight and a dragon. You are the knight. Resistance is the dragon.”
You, as a Pro, have decided that this is who you are going to be. There´s no way out. You`re all in. 100%.
That´s when you`ll succeed. Because you`ve slayed the dragon, called resistance. Giving up is no longer an option.
The outcome. Pre-determined.
Now, it`s just the time of getting there. One step at a time. For every step backwards, take two forwards. When you get knocked down, decide to get back up.
“It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better.
The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood; who strives valiantly; who errs, who comes short again and again, because there is no effort without error and shortcoming;
but who does actually strive to do the deeds; who knows great enthusiasms, the great devotions; who spends himself in a worthy cause;
who at the best knows in the end the triumph of high achievement, and who at the worst, if he fails, at least fails while daring greatly, so that his place shall never be with those cold and timid souls who neither know victory nor defeat.” — Theodore Roosevelt
There´s no shame in failure. No shame in getting knocked down. Because you can only fail if you`re actually in the arena. Doing the deeds.
Steven Pressfield says that he knew he became a Pro in his life when he got a failure. He hadn`t been winning yet, but at least he had been putting in the work. Exposing himself to outside judgement and rejection.
Do the work it takes to change who you are. You`ll feel like giving up more than once. But you`ll still be much farther ahead than the one contemplating and wishing to change.
Change is possible. Start now!
“Are you paralyzed with fear? That’s a good sign. Fear is good. Like self-doubt, fear is an indicator. Fear tells us what we have to do. Remember one rule of thumb: the more scared we are of a work or calling, the more sure we can be that we have to do it.” — Steven Pressfield in “The War of Art”
I have a personal rule: whenever something scares me like crazy, that´s when I have to move closer towards it, conquer it, so I`ll be stronger in the end.
But in our today`s world of comfort, it`s easy to run away. To watch some Netflix. To play a video game.
But those will never be able to numb that pain inside from potential unrealized. I tried. It doesn`t work.
Fear is our guiding force. It shows us our next Level of Growth. Appreciate the feeling of fear. Sit in it. Face it. Learn. Face it again. Do better. Until it becomes less scary.
Until it becomes your new normal!
“We can`t create a new future by holding onto the emotions of the past” — Dr. Joe Dispenza
We have to allow ourselves to dream again. That´s a necessity. Without a Vision of a better future, we`re completely screwed. We´re still stuck in the past.
Craft your best future now. Then live it from now on moving forward. Your goals are not a destination where you`ll end up, they`re a place to come from.
“True desire in the heart for anything good, is God’s proof to you sent beforehand to indicate that it’s yours already. “— Denzel Washington
Now is just the time to claim your true desire.
Want to be the best Chef in the World? Act, think and feel like the best Chef in the world would, beginning today.
Want to be the best Actor in the World? Act, think and feel like the best Actor in the world would, beginning today.
And listen: you´re not faking it til you`re making it. That´s the dumbest advice ever.
You´re actually taking on the identity of the person you want to become. And that´s completely different. You`re not pretending to be someone else. You`re you. You´re the best you. The outer world, now, simply has to catch up with you.
The answer: Touch it every day.
You absolutely have to touch your vision and your goals every single day. Make it part of your morning routine. And not just intellectually.
You got to feel, smell, taste and see the vision. Every day. Remember, it´s a place to come from, not a destination to go.
So journal about it every morning. Re-affirm who you are and then visualize what that truly means. Meditate on it. Reconnect with the present by seeking clarity on how you can serve that vision in the best way possible today.
Then start acting from that place to the best of your abilities in the present moment.
“Simplicity is the trademark of Genius” — Robin Sharma
Get rid of the Complexity in your Life. Take away all options which aren`t options in the first place. Reduce the amount of things on your plate. If you`re trying to juggle a thousand things, something will be dropped.
Automate, simplify, eliminate. That´s the mantra.
Every decision that you can automate to your environment is one less on your plate. If possible, automate as soon as possible.
Every decision that you want to make, but can`t automate, simplify as much as you can.
This means, making the desired behavior as obvious as possible. It`s got to be an absolute no brainer. I, for Example, excercise every day, because I have filled my environment with triggers that remind me of working out.
There almost isn`t any way I could forget. Because I`ve scheduled it in my Calendar. I`ve put my workout-clothes out the night before. They`re impossible to ignore. So every morning, as soon as I see my workout clothes, I know it´s time to workout.
Simplify the desired decisisons.
Eliminate the undesired decisions.
If you don`t want to do something anymore (or reduce the time spend on it), make it invisible. Remove the triggers from your environment.
Because often enough, we just choose the most obvious option. It`s easy to watch some TV when the TV is super obvious in your evironment. But if you put your TV in your closet, so you`ll have to pull it out every time you want to watch, you`ll think twice of watching TV when you`re just bored.
Automate, simplify, eliminate as much as possible. Outsource your decision-making to your environment as much as possible.
“Show me a successful individual and I’ll show you someone who had real positive influences in his or her life. I don’t care what you do for a living — if you do it well I’m sure there was someone cheering you on or showing the way. A mentor.” — Denzel Washington
Whatever you want to achieve: find the most successful person who`s doing exactly that.
If you want to be in the best shape of your life, find the fittest person in your town and train with them. You`ll instantly elevate the quality of your environment, and therefore, set a new standard for where you want to go.
If you want to be more open, like I wanted to, surround yourself with those who seem so charismatic that you look like you`re a complete disaster.
I know, that`s completely uncomfortable sometimes. But very soon you´ll start to pick the behavior of that group or that person. You`ll start becoming like them.
The quality of the people around you determines how far you will come in life.
Now, you don`t need to be surrounded by Superstars and Athletes only.
But have you ever noticed that in a circle where it`s accepted to be obese, most people seem to be obese? But when you simply change the environment, and seek out a circle where fitness is one of the highest values, you`ve now completely changed the accepted normal.
Have you ever noticed that environments with successful people breed more successful people? Well, they`re just picking each other`s brain, learning from each other and it`s simply the normal behavior in that environment.
Change your environment, change your life!
And it doesn`t have to be complicated. It´s now easier than ever before to surround yourself with the people who have what you want. Find them on Social Media, currate a Feed that shows their inspiring content and you`ll soon start to adapt their behaviors, thoughts and feelings.
Slowly over time you change who you are.
Now, to be clear: all the inspiration is nice, but when you never take action, you`ll never move closer towards that dream.
And: when you just admire them and always tell yourself that you`ll never be able to get there, that won`t serve you either.
You`re a peer of them. You`re just not as advanced as they are in the journey. But that doesn`t diminish your worth.
“A lack of clarity could put the brakes on any journey to success.” ― Steve Maraboli
On the journey towards consistently doing the hard things and making that easy for us, we need to constantly seek clarity.
Let´s begin with clarifying what you´re going to do. Answer the following questions:
What´s the new habit? When, where and what will you do?
What if you fail to perform your new habit? How will you make sure to get back on track?
How will you reward yourself for actually following through?
How will you make doing it as inevitable and obvious as possible?
The answers to those questions don`t need to be long. This should all fit on one page. But that´s your key. Because now you´ve eliminated the guess work.
Now, you don`t need to rely on randomness to actually perform the new behavior.
And that´s clearly one of the biggest mistakes people make. They just think that they`ll remember doing it and will force themselves to actually do it through willpower.
They´ve already lost the game. No clarity and we go back to our default option. Sooner or later.
Have clarity? Even if it`s not perfect? Great, now you`re set to move on.
“Great things are done by a series of small things brought together.” — Vincent Van Gough
Did you know that Momentum is exponential?
For a long time, I didn`t. But it makes perfect sense. And what does it mean?
If you`re performing something often enough, you`ll catch so much steem behind the scenes, you`ll become unstoppable.
On the outside, it`ll look like an overnight success. But you`ve been preparing for this for a long time.
Unfortunately, it takes a little longer than we expect to actually take off. Especially in the beginning, any new endeavor or behavior will feel like a stretch. It will feel like we`re going nowhere.
There will be a moment where we feel like giving up. That`s part of the game. And that`s the most important moment, if you truly want to change. Because that`s the moment you need to stick to the journey.
Your breakthrough is so much closer than you think. The problem just is, we`re not feeling it right away.
But repetition leads to automaticity. We need to persevere long enough, so that our new behavior becomes our new default option. Afterwards, it all becomes easier.
Trust that momentum will catch up with you!
You can quickly reinvent yourself. But you`ll have to stick with it long enough. Longer than you probably think.
I had to do that as well. When I started working on myself for the first time in my life to become more open and confident, that was the scariest thing in the world. I was so afraid.
I wasn`t sure whether I actually could pull it off. But I thought “What if I actually can? Let me see!”. And that`s the spirit you need.
It has been, by far, the toughest and most challenging thing I`ve ever done in my life. I felt like giving up more than once. And I almost did.
Approximately 6 months into the journey, I started getting frustrated. I wasn`t seeing any progress. Any results. At least, that´s what it felt like. I wanted to give up.
I vividly remember that one day there was about a party to be hosted on my University. And I just didn`t wanted to go. I thought that I would never meet anyone and that it doesn`t make sense to go.
On that day, I went to the gym and met a friend. That friend encouraged me to actually give it a shot. So I did. The rest is history. That evening, I met the love of my Life!
Often enough, when we completely feel like giving up, we just need to take that one step further. Just one more step.
The journey obviously continued. I wasn`t done. But I now had some grip. I gained some Momentum. Afterwards, it became easier and my new normal.
Today, I`m super excited to shoot my videos and online-courses. I`m doing livestreams. I`m coaching people one-on-one. I`m not shy anymore. I`m confident in myself. More than I ever thought possible.
All of that is possible because one day I wasn`t willing to accept who I had become anymore. I decided to reinvent myself.
And you can do the same. You can train yourself to move into your fears. If you do, you`ll be a completely different person six months from now, a year from now, let alone one decade from now!
… you could actually become the person you always dreamed of being?
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